Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
I went through the fire for you, did anything you asked me to
But I'm tired of living this lie
It's getting harder to justify
Realized that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
In the past couple of years, I've learned a lot of things.
I've learned that nothing and no one will ever get you through the hardships in your life, but God. I've always been the kind of person who can't really let go and move on so easily, but rather hold on to things. Strangely enough though, when I went through the worst period of my life a few years back, I managed to get through it in a very insignificant amount of time. How, you ask me? Cuz when I decided that I wanted to get out of it once and for all, I got down on my knees and prayed to God for help. I wanted to get over it with all my heart. And one day, my prayers were answered. One day, I stopped crying. One day, I woke up with a reason to live. One day, I woke up to find him in my life. And it was God, who answered my prayers.. and got me through it.
I've learned that no matter how hard you try to analyze things, coming up with numerous explanations, whether logical or not, the one explanation that hadn't crossed your mind, is the one explanation that's most likely to be true.
I've learned that to be able to get through life, you should treat people the same way they treat you. If they're good to you and treat you right, be good to them and treat them right. While on the contrary, if they make you feel bad about yourself, the sooner you cut them out of your life, the better. Saves you the heartache they'd eventually cause.
I've learned that instead of dwelling over the past and regretting the mistakes you've made, you should learn from them. Redeem yourself, for mistakes are the tools that shape us and turn us into the people we are today.
I've learned that some things are not always what they seem. I've also learned that some things, are exactly.. what they seem.
I've learned what it's like to be surrounded with true friends.
Some that I've known my whole life and have only gotten close to in the past couple of years:
Layan, with her beautiful soul, her pure white heart and her unique kindness. She's the kind of person you can always, and I mean ALWAYS count on. The kind of person who would always be there for you, the kind of person who trusts and believes everyone, not cuz she’s stupid, or cuz she's naive, but because she chooses to see the good side in everyone around her. Because she chooses to give people the benefit of the doubt. She’s the kind of person that loves and gives unconditionally, without expecting anything in return; the kind of person who would do anything in her power to make the people around her happy, cuz that’s all that matters to her. That's all that makes her happy.
Jana (a.k.a. Islander), whom I've become close to mostly in the past 4 or 5 months. We've been friends for a very long time and have always been part of the same group, but never really gotten as close as we have in the past few months. Her ability to constantly nag never fails to amaze me, how one person could 7in this much, I'll never understand. And unfortunately I picked it up as soon as she left to continue her studies abroad, but that's not all she's about. I've discovered that beneath the surface, lies a person who's been hurting silently cuz of something that happened to her not so long ago, something that broke her, but she still managed to rise up and glue the pieces back together, though I know that she'll never be the person she was before it happened. I've discovered someone so forgiving, that I can honestly say she's one of the few people I've ever known who manages to forgive and actually forget. Someone who's strong enough to withstand whatever life throws at her, and smile.
Marwa, who's famous for her ditching, but still, a person who would leave everything and be there with you in the blink of an eye in your time of need. I'm grateful for everything she's ever done for me, for being there for me and for sticking by my side when I needed her the most. For trying to understand me, even though no one really does. For staying up all night trying to cheer me up and make me laugh by making fun of Layan (sorry Layan bs you already know this y3ni) or by planning things and creating different scenarios and visualizing what could possibly happen in each one of them. I'm grateful for the fact the she trusted me with her deepest, darkest secrets. I'm grateful for her support, for pulling me out of the dark cage I tend to lock myself in whenever I break down, and for helping me get back up on my feet again.
Fara7, the logical one. The closest person to actually figuring me out. I've been friends with her for over 9 years now and we've been through so many ups and downs together. Our friendship has been tested more than once, but it still managed to survive it all. She's my stable ground, the one person who can pull me back to reality and manage to keep me sane; the one person who never runs out of advices to give, or words to say. She's a realist, and I love her for that.
Some that I've only gotten to know better recently:
Dalal (a.k.a Change), my dark and gloomy friend, who listens to all my random te7el6em about everything, who was there for me in some of my worst times, who never judged the damaged person that I am and tolerated me at times when I couldn't tolerate myself.
And some that I've gotten to know throughout my college years:
Him, with his charming personality. He "quoting Islander" managed to pull me out of the gutter with his warm smile and back into the human world. He gave me back some of the hope that I'd lost, proving to me that there are still some decent guys left out there. He cared about me endlessly, and so did I. He respected me, trusted me and most of all; he made me feel good about myself by seeing the best in me. And although today, we each go our separate paths, I'll always cherish every moment that I spent with him, every memory we shared, all the laughs and all the smiles that will forever be imprinted in my heart.
Throughout my life, I've encountered different types of people, the good and the bad, but in the past couple of years, most of the ones that I've gotten to know are the ones who have had the biggest impact on my life. They're the ones I pray to God that I'll be surrounded with in the future. In my best days and in my worst days. The ones that are truly worth holding on to.
In the past couple of years, I've learned a lot of things.In the future, I hope that I’ll learn even more.